So here I go..lalala~

The Verdict was..

...It might heal,either completely or partially..

...or maybe even the slightest improvement might be seen..

...yet it may also result to a no-no.

...my hand'll b immobile for atleast 3weeks!!

At this point in my life,I've felt as if I've waited for this moment to arrive for so long but it seemed so far away and so impossible that I really believed that this day never will actually come. But they say 'Nak seribu daya,xnak seribu daleh'

Ok first I need to get something of my chest..I do admit that I lied in the history taking part!! (now I understand when the pts we take also give certain info whenever we take it but suddenly in the files it say diffly or worse when they themselves change answers when the lec ask them during presentation) Yet it wasn't my fault that my Hptl card hasn't been updated!! (its not right?) This must be really confusing right now huh?!

Well lemme start with..

I've been thinking to show the docs in KH about my hand *yawn* for quite some time now but hadn't quite had came to the right time and the full commitment-thingy towards it just yet so I practicallly just wandered abt it to my profs and lecs during posting hours.

Dr.Santosh had said that as long as my motor functions were ok then that would do (but sir-aja!! has there ever been a numb doc b4?..besides those pakar bius who make OTHERS 'numb'lah)and he also told me what my chances were (which I accepted wholeheartedly) while Dr.Shashi basically gave me some moral boost about how to handle future postings with a numb hand..*sigh* but both advised me to go to Ortho and ask for the details (all this while I thought I had to see a neurologist first which actlly once I DID made an apptmt with in which I bailed due to the fact of the long line there)

And I had or still have this paranoia or fear that Docs are gonna judge me as weirdly suspicious or a possible case of SOmatoform disorder coz for the whole 3yrs I've been here i had gone to <5>

So last Saturday I went into OPD where I met some (insolent) PG who turned me away after calling my name up as it was MY TURN not before letting me wait for more than an hour and THEN asking me to wait ANOTHER 40min?? I didn't even tell em what was wrong!! Bulls..x blaja Palliative or PPD ke? Not to mention rudely saying that the only reason he called me was 'to see how much time he has'?? wth? *repeats* I didn't even tell em waaht was wrong!!Dude if u feel u don't know whats wrong with me or have the lack of imagination don't just snub ppl like that.Not just ppl,UR PTS maann!!

He even tried to push me to another PG..who ALSO declined due to i-really-dunno-y. ..*shakes head* So earlier I was planning to just ambush this innocent looking PG at the front desk but waited for the 'bz' PG only to find out that he's pushing me to that particular innocent-looking PG infront..*sigh of relief*

So there he was layanning me very respectively like any HUMAN being would and SHOULD. And eventhough he confusingly said it was my 'radial nerve' that was injured when I was well aware that my Median nerve was the one really affected I really didn't mind and nodded anyway :))

So he wrote off my history and asked me to come again to meet the Ortho1 docs(which deals with nerve injuries..he was Ortho4) and consult on MOnday.I cancelled that apptmt bcoz I had class and wanted to rebook the following Monday but Anim(who I asked in favour to book for me) said that Saturday would be fine as Ortho1s are coming.

So there I was again waiting in a room full of ppl of all ages probly having some kida injury aswell..or maybe not..I met with Dr.Anil the Ass.Prof there and he consulted me the situation..*stare with admiration* Now theres someone who knows his job ASWELL as how to respect a pt. The details were :

• 10 yrs is quite long ago so chances are slightly thinner
• the buldge on my hand is prob a neuroma compressing the nerve
• oh! the median nerve is prob affectd
• it is guarenteed that wahtever happens,the important thing is it wont worsen
• go home and think it over and confirm with him on Mon

Ok here is when there was some kind of MISinformation..ehem2..

1. It wasn't really 10 years.it was more of a 12 years?? (Seriously is there any difference??!! naah~ right?)
2. I just realised taht my hptl card says 19yo female..when act I'm twnty-1 going 22. (still no diff right?)*hesitates* N I couldn't bring myself to correct them!!! Ugh~ Its not completely a lie u kniw coz i WAS 19 when I did my card and are weee suppose to update it? *shrugs*

So I came back this morning (alas missing Kkla..*woot2*) and they did an ultrasound aswell as an NCV test(nerve conduction). The ultra was kinda fooney coz what they said was a nerve didnt look much different than waht they said was a tendon so I was really a blur..*rolls eyes* ..I'll learn someday.The nerve test was a bit excruciating at first as they flowed me with current of certain amps but in the end it wasn't that painful,it was just slightly suprising..huhu.If only she didn't start with 'It won't hurt..' coz it made me think 'What if to me it does?' ..haha..

So tomorrow I'll be admitted and hopefully all turns well~ Amin.