A friend told me on a cold,damp and rainy day...the first three years of a relationship are the adrenaline years where everything is beautiful no matter how ugly,everything is nice beside the fact that its absolutely horrid and everything is tolerable when actually its unbearable. We get so blinded by the illusion that we are that much of a bigger person that we put all disagreement aside and one day the other person will have to do too.We have this concept where we think things will change,the other person will change one day following to our mold,our 'format' ,our idea of a compatible significant other and a successfull relationship.
Whose to say opposites attract? Or that maybe the ones that are 'sekepale' and similar are the ones suited for you? Who the hell decided 'You complete me'?? WHO?
Everyone is quite aware that things change,people change,we ourselves change.Whether for the better or for worse..Yet who can judge whats good or whats bad,who the hell knows? Who's to say You need to change and not your partner or even the other way around? Shouldn't both sides contribute to this thing called change. Shouldn't both sides sacrifice?.But then there's the question who's putting 'more on the table' than the other??How far you are willing tooo sacrifice is how you determine how much you are into your partner,to see your willingness to evolve bares all the evidence on how serious you are about the rekationship.
Yet if according to the book of relationships, are you the rule or the exceptional case ??
My friend also says (this one everyone says so too) that never give away your heart 100%..alas never Love someone completely and never Hate someone with all your heart as you might enter into some messy business.
Today I realize how the saying life's too short is so very true..LIfe's too short to fill it with anger,depression,madness and sulking all the time. Why be like that when you can fill it with love passion and hope? =) But why is it everytime I try(i think I do,I really2 do),I find myself where I was before?? Full of rage and anger? WHy is it that when my wish if fulfilled it doesn't satisfy me? Doesn't complete the hole in my head and my heart that says 'This is all u hafta do to make me happy' ? To make this work?
Is there something that I missed? I am totally the wrong person to be talking about relationships as I really2 am bad at it.Still *sigh*
Jealousy. It's a very lethal and fatal word.Mortality rate could rise due this word only.It can blind man into not seeing the true light of a person..and only see darkness.How can one live life when they roam the streets scared of the shadows that linger under each street lamp,each dark alley ,around each corner and each dead end? I myself find how suffocating it can be when I know that my openness to others may then cause someone else to feel that pang of jealousy (eventhough the person took no action upon it).But when you know you hurt someone in that way,its just the same torture. How wiliing are you to tiptoe around your relationship? We're surviving everyday thinking how afraid we are to be alone.To lose that someone that gives you comfort and security. We fear that all the investments we have installed will be put to waste and at the end of the day we are left with nothing.
People say befriending someone for too long before you marry them is always a bad sign,a bad move as it usually doesn't work out.You see the difficulties too early and back out before you think it's 'too late'.But didn't our four fathers before us get married on arrangemets of their fathers? Look at our grandparents or maybe even some of our breeds parents who didn't date each other for long before marrige and up till now have stayed together (hopefully till death do them part)? They go into a marrige with only the knowledge of the praises sung for their spouse and with their prayers and hope for the best outcome. The early 1-3 years of marriage seems to always be hard on a couple and I guess many of our times young couples mostly give up on eachother without really trying first due to the pressure put on them ranging from peer pressure,family,occupation..and demanding needs or too high of an expectation.Even more so now our lives are evolving and developing according to the worlds rate.
Its difficult when one does not feel the need to change themselves.They feel that when they succeed in changing the other person is victory enough to feed their pride and ego.
They might have won the battle,yet they have lost the war.
Whose to say opposites attract? Or that maybe the ones that are 'sekepale' and similar are the ones suited for you? Who the hell decided 'You complete me'?? WHO?
Everyone is quite aware that things change,people change,we ourselves change.Whether for the better or for worse..Yet who can judge whats good or whats bad,who the hell knows? Who's to say You need to change and not your partner or even the other way around? Shouldn't both sides contribute to this thing called change. Shouldn't both sides sacrifice?.But then there's the question who's putting 'more on the table' than the other??How far you are willing tooo sacrifice is how you determine how much you are into your partner,to see your willingness to evolve bares all the evidence on how serious you are about the rekationship.
Yet if according to the book of relationships, are you the rule or the exceptional case ??
My friend also says (this one everyone says so too) that never give away your heart 100%..alas never Love someone completely and never Hate someone with all your heart as you might enter into some messy business.
Today I realize how the saying life's too short is so very true..LIfe's too short to fill it with anger,depression,madness and sulking all the time. Why be like that when you can fill it with love passion and hope? =) But why is it everytime I try(i think I do,I really2 do),I find myself where I was before?? Full of rage and anger? WHy is it that when my wish if fulfilled it doesn't satisfy me? Doesn't complete the hole in my head and my heart that says 'This is all u hafta do to make me happy' ? To make this work?
Is there something that I missed? I am totally the wrong person to be talking about relationships as I really2 am bad at it.Still *sigh*
Jealousy. It's a very lethal and fatal word.Mortality rate could rise due this word only.It can blind man into not seeing the true light of a person..and only see darkness.How can one live life when they roam the streets scared of the shadows that linger under each street lamp,each dark alley ,around each corner and each dead end? I myself find how suffocating it can be when I know that my openness to others may then cause someone else to feel that pang of jealousy (eventhough the person took no action upon it).But when you know you hurt someone in that way,its just the same torture. How wiliing are you to tiptoe around your relationship? We're surviving everyday thinking how afraid we are to be alone.To lose that someone that gives you comfort and security. We fear that all the investments we have installed will be put to waste and at the end of the day we are left with nothing.
People say befriending someone for too long before you marry them is always a bad sign,a bad move as it usually doesn't work out.You see the difficulties too early and back out before you think it's 'too late'.But didn't our four fathers before us get married on arrangemets of their fathers? Look at our grandparents or maybe even some of our breeds parents who didn't date each other for long before marrige and up till now have stayed together (hopefully till death do them part)? They go into a marrige with only the knowledge of the praises sung for their spouse and with their prayers and hope for the best outcome. The early 1-3 years of marriage seems to always be hard on a couple and I guess many of our times young couples mostly give up on eachother without really trying first due to the pressure put on them ranging from peer pressure,family,occupation..and demanding needs or too high of an expectation.Even more so now our lives are evolving and developing according to the worlds rate.
Its difficult when one does not feel the need to change themselves.They feel that when they succeed in changing the other person is victory enough to feed their pride and ego.
They might have won the battle,yet they have lost the war.
1 comment:
ske baca u punye writing.hurmm..sumtymes apa yg syud pikir tu sama ckit2 ngn yg pika pikir..tp kkdg xtau je camne nak luahkan..hehe
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