Marilyn Monroe wannabe.

Note: This post is not to be taken so literally.

Attention is like a drug.Like a song u cant get out of ur head.

Its a bitch like that. Sneaking up when least expected.

After one play, u'll ask for more and get more than u bargained for..

Clawing urself among others just to taste the sweetness of it.

Before u know it,drastically its taken away from you.

Days go by and u just carelessly dump it at the far back of ur mind pretending u could care less.

And u'll think maybe one day it'll come again and shower u with its graciousness.

Women in particular, are addicts of this thing called attention and if they're not carefull enough it would become their own downfall.

Women want to seem special even if they say they don't care, and adored in even the mildest way possible, if not major kinda way.

Which is why girls, plz be careful on stage when the ruthless lightman focuses his spotlight on u,

because right there and then u realize how reality can bite u in the ass.

Attention is a charmer.

This little charmer when to market,

this lil charmer stayed at home.

This lil charmer said 'weex4'~

aaall the way home...and it might literally come into ur own home when u least expect it.

Ironically when ur NOT paying Attention.

A relationships status,ones that are long built out of love,faith and trust is easily jeopardized when any one of the pair, lets these lil charmers invade their circle and harass their loved ones.

No matter how strong and stable u are, never to underestimate the power of insecurities, and affection and never ever underestimate ur most lethal enemy, which is really urself and the ability to keep ur head in the game, ur eye on the ball. Or ur hand in his.

Haven't u noticed ur own friends who were in love with one another only later on due to distance or lack of communication and attention to fall in love with another friend u know? That akward and utter disbelief of how it can ever happen since they were sooooo in love?

On an unrelated matter-abt that guy whose been dumped time and time again because of all her own bullshit and infidelity but still woes for her time n time again and even after all the shiity times he's been through, the girl finally comes to her 'sense' although u would really like to punch the guy back to reality.

Some ppl are tough like that. They want what they want. End of story.

But some say, "I have no right over who u choose because right now I can't promise u a ring, a big house and a nice green lawn and that u deserve more"

I believe that once, probably as an escape for me if it was necessary..but to be honest, u are responsible to make the situation ur in work for u rather than u scrutinize everything within vision field and try to fix things that are not even broken.U then try to search high and low for environements that suits u best but honestly that that road is too darn long and never ending.

That road is The Road Not (to be) Taken.

Oh, and never to OVERestimate how sure u are of urself and ur partner. Because talking abt all this 'under' and 'over' situations without putting pure sheer determination and loyalty while avoiding anything that could lead to any crisis or fitnah(aka ask urself do u really need more guy friends other than ur casual hangout ones?..esp at this stage in ur life where career and marriage is otw?)..u'll dissapoint urself way too much u'll regret it so bad. Sometimes I can even suprise myself and i worry what I'm capable of. Some say I'm the labile one. I guess u could say that. Which tears me apart sometimes. I even admit it out loud as if saying it like that can jinx it from coming true.

I'm actually proud of how much I've changed and how far I've evolved in the flirting department as I have seperated myself from that other half of me, plus the env im in which prevents me from whinking about it.

Harizahri has been my first real steady boyfriend and even with all his patience and the almost perfect profile, I feel sorry for putting him down sometimes with his flaws which are very minimal and almost non-existant. I do it because I have this silly belief, what doesn't kill u makes u stronger including a lil challenge and strain on a relationship.

I once prayed to God, if ever we were ever to be tested on revolving this r/ship,let it be now. So we can sort my true feelings,meet our own potentials and get our priorities straight. I wanted to see if I would fold in a moment of shakiness and despair. To let me survey options I or he never had before. And if maybe, just maybe in a moment of doubt, he would fight for me till the end.Yes, I admit I settled early and settled with comfort and conveniance.

Yet I realize that thats all that really matters while the others although tempting, is only temporary.

So whenever u feel that a threat is approaching, just avoid it. Steer out of its way. Coz everyone knows, Sesal dulu pendapatan,sesal kmudian x gune. Is it worth the late night fights, miscommunication and misunderstanding or the endless cold silence and petty quarells while u already have this solid person right beside u all this time? Never let the chance for ur partner to doubt u or even worse u doubting urself. And if it tries to threaten ur partner,u have to set ur partner straight. U must know where to put ur feet down(not in ur mouth) in a moment of crisis. U owe them that much to tell what exactly is at stake and what not w/o Over dramatizing the situation. (Because u wouldn't wanna make a fuss over something that amounts to ZERO worth?) Ppl can have the tendency to think too much. Ex, " He doesn't laugh at my jokes" which somehow suddenly translates into "He doesn't really love me".DON'T. Before it's too late.