Blast From The Past

(Before beginning my post, I can't help but notice an upgrade on blogspot. The format has changed and seems more sophisticated yet neat and simple at the same time. Kudos! )

     So yesterday I went for a mini-reunion with some (high)school friends of mine that are currently residing in and around Selangor either due to studies, work or spouse-related reasons. Four of them are studying in UITM which made me feel really bad for not inviting them over to the house since I got back from India. What can I say? I'm a bad host. Ask my primary school bff. Ask my mom -_-' *rolls eyes*. Since I was the only one with the car( read= abgIz's -who rarely uses his car *clap2*) I picked them up and went to hangOut at Times Square theme park but not before bringing them over to my house(finally) for breakfast(which! I cooked!Yay!).      

         BaRai(bukan nama sebenar-kot) was kinda worried for me seeing that I wasn't really close with any one of them who were going and that I might bail. I felt bad to have him ask me if I was having fun every hour because that only means I made my kerut-face which I always tend to make when I'm quiet. We were okay ( i think) but don't really have much in common. You know how when you go to a strange new place and you're terrified you won't make new friends but just somehow, like magnets you find those bunch of wackos who just fit right in together? We've all had that. Well this isn't it. There was one, PiqPiQ(mungkin nama sebenar) who was one of my study buddies but he's married and expecting so that's kinda of a no-no situation. They were honest-to-God, great, funny and friendly but I somehow still felt like an outsider. For those who know me, seeing me in this situation would make you ponder if it was really me or an imposer as I usually am the loudest person but yesterday, I was merely just a spectator of the day,  only hearing my loud laugh here and there. What I love about going out with them, is how hilarious they can be, making fun outta the past stories, outta each other and the adlibs they add and the gags with an accent (which I find adds the funny into fun) 

     This made me realize how much I really knew these people, and how I've been sticking with the same people through-out high school like a glue not letting other people in. Or could be because I've just grown-up+ grew-apart from the old me and have suddenly become this akward person with people I'm not totally familiar with. Being in a relationship does that to you I guess. In HSchool I'd always have Prek who I constantly fight with but love to death and then Balqis,Momo,Yan, Ida. My senior Kak Haziah, junior Khai. Not forgetting Dorsie, who I feel a little bit like my soul-mate, although we have never ever really fought before which really frightens me. I'm afraid that that only means we're not actually best friends but just 2 girls who have a lot in common but are just too polite to be mad at each other. I really miss her these days. I miss baking, joking, gossiping, singing with her. I feel as if she's avoiding me when all I want to do is be here for her when she needs someone to lean on. I don't want her to feel as if she burdens me coz she doesn't *wipes tear* 

      Back to the reunion. Well after one round of the games, they already started to feel queasy although I didn't mind going again, but alas we went out to eat lunch. By then it was already 'late' so after lunch and taking pictures we went to pray. Now this is the hard tricky part, no one even mentioned wanting to go for prayers and it just dissapoints me. If I didn't say it out loud, I probably would of been sucked in and skipped it all together in fear of making things awkward. Why is it for some people, when they are out to the mall or hanging out, they would rather not stop for prayers? It's not just them, I see it in some of my close friends as well as family. I know public surau's suck,smelly,crowded but it's not impossible to do so we should brave through it. I'm not a saint, far from it! Trust me, I'm the worst anak-usrah out there. I always pray last minute and sometimes I do miss my prayers when I shouldn't have but to me its IMPORTANT  aka crucial in life as in 'Tiang agama' as in all will crumble once ignore its importance and I won't feel at ease selagi tak qada'. 

            What's more disappointing is that, these are the same batch of friends from school who rarely missed prayers. We were taught well in school so it's a shame we don't practice it. This proves the saying 'Choose ur Friends WISELY' . That's why I'm so thankful towards my current close friends and boyfriend. Although they/we are not exactly picture perfect, we remind each other, and are not afraid to tegur-menegur which makes it so easy and comfortable to talk about these things. It's damn crucial to choose good friends. You need them to pull you towards the right way and away from the dark side. 

              But I do feel as it was partly my fault that they-who-must-not-be-named didn't 'get' to pray. We were on the way to Shah alam for evening tea before going to i-city and it was already near LATE. I suggested drinks at my house as I was afraid if we went out for drinks then definitely I'd miss asar-maghrib . Thankfully they agreed to come by, plus senang nak rehat2 borak2. So I took the opportunity to go upstairs to do my thing but I was too malu tak bertempat and just waited for them to ask for sejadah etc rather than asking them straight out if they wanted to because the fact is, I was the host and it was the right thing to do. I caved!! I'm sorry T__T      Hopefully next time, I'll be a better friend. I'm saying all this not to boast about my beliefs or embarrass my friends, but as an iktibar for people nowadays and a reminder to myself who keeps on forgetting.

         We tend to forget what we were taught when we were young about what is right and be sucked in the world where we lose our way from our faith and the path to paradise. Bit by bit we lose ourselves in this challenging place where the temptation of freedom strays us from doing good for The Lord Almighty.