Its 5o'clock in the morning and I've been up every hour with the bright light still lit. 3am. 4am. Afraid I might get up late without my homeys in the room to wake me up.The drive journey back from KT was so draining last night even when I wasn't even the one behind the steering wheel..I quickly pull up the covers, hiding my head below the hard pillow.
The clock strikes 6 o'clock. The room, still empty since last night as the girls were having the day off. I pull the covers higher up trying to drown myself back to sleep. Denying the reality of my situation. Doctor who?
The phone rings. Not my alarm, confirming it after the second ring.
There I was thinking, " Who the hell could be calling me at this time.."
One of things that suck AND can scare the chicken-shit outta you when you've become a legit doc is when you receive a call from a friend from work or a fixed line which is most likely from work.
There's always these small voices whispering, " What did you do now? " to " What the heck you DIDNT do?"
I peek through the covers with one eye open and see the caller- ID. Prek? I slide to answer.
"Prek?"..a split second of silence.
"Babe..aku ade brita buruk..".. *pause*
"Nape ni prek? "...*pause*
"Balqis dah takde" *double pause*
My heart skips a beat. " Huh? "
Two beats ...the sound of her voice becoming further and harder to for me to listen to.
"Die accident..masuk gaung..dekat Pekan"..
"Preekk...."
And there we were..a phone call away..helpless..with our hearts both torn and broken into pieces because of the love we've shared for a friend we've known half our lives. The very same person we've fought with, made up with, shared our laugh and tears with. Its tougher for Prek as she's been with her for the past year,even more and I can only hope she can find strength to move on and live life as normal as possible as she will be reminded of arwah almost everwhere she turns as they've built a life there together. But I would be here, distracting myself with work, and work and more work. ANd I would always be here for her when she needs me.
I went to work this morning, finding myself lost in thought. I see her face. I can here her voice. Her jokes that once made my day. I remember the last time we saw each other on my grad day.How she refused to take a picture with me because she wasn't ready. How could you? And now I dont have a picture with you on my big day.
I remember how I forgot to wish her Bday last 31st June when she remembered mine. And how I reminded myself to wish her but was too busy with work and had no internet connection. I couldn't reply her wish on my bday. And today, I can't ever wish her. But she will always be remembered.
Today, my day is like a pie chart. Why you ask? Because a pie is made up of all kinds of ingredients, and a pie chart is divided into pieces representing percentages of something. That something is all the emotions I have bottled up inside me as of this moment. It started off with joy. Joy of having my significant other passing his finals . Sadness as my other half was being married off to her 'other' half and me missing my flight to celebrate their new life of matrimony. And joy of my beloved roomy's Bday which I couldn't celebrate as I couldn't betray the hurt and loss I was feeling for my late friend.
My day today, is like a pie.
Bon a petite.
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