Long Strive ahead

I've been itching to blog about my life as a freshman H.O but life's been hectic and even when it isn't, I'd rather sleep. Or eat. Or sleep.

On my first day,three months seemed so far away yet now that it's over, it felt like just yesterday was when we met En.Firdaus (h.o care-taker aka life saver) for our orientation. *sigh* I have mixed feelings about finishing med postings. There is a sense of incomplete-ness and unfulfilled needs.

Everyone assumes that being a doctor is most noble and honorable, which in theory, yes it is.But in fact, it carries a lot more weight to it than you can imagine. It can carry you to the dark side ever so effortlessly and you wouldn't know what hit you, shoving you across that fine line between right and wrong. You must always remind yourself why you were here in the first place. That God is watching every single footstep and every single turn.

You meet all variants of human beings from all the levels of the hierarchy. The good, the bad, the innocent, the bossy. You will meet people you think are so nice that they can manipulate even you into doing things for them without even directly asking and also those who are just so full of themselves. I've been in situations where I just help out these people do things just because they're so pretty that I just couldn't say no. Now that's pathetic ain't it. But hey, if you set your mind thinking it's a burden, believe me, it will become a burden. But if you think, '" Hey, there's not much I have to do anyway, why not help?" Because truth is, h.o's workload is sO darn little these days, we should be craving for more work.

Ni nak balik on time. Nak cukup tidur. Nak spend time with family. But being a doctor, is like being a celebrity in a way. You are hak milik rakyat. Well at least your time is. At least when you're a houseman.

On another hand, its not entirely our fault that the numbers have grown out of proportion. Wasn't it the plan to decrease the ratio of doctors to patients? So that they get better treatment and enough attention. But then we get less experience due to the competitiveness of it all. By all means send us to overpopulated nations for housemanship will you???(as if my mom would agree to that -_-) They need us more I guess and would appreciate us more and not look down on us.(even nusrses here need some taming to do, down girl, down) Then when we come back, we'll be more equipped for combat although the medical issues out there might not exactly relate to what we are facing back home.

So there are pro and cons, depends on whose counting.

Still, niat itu penting. I started out into h.o-ship planning all sorts of things, but what I've realised is plans change, people change. This job changes you, and don't expect it to be for the better. Because it can bring out the worse of you in every front..

God help me.