Life of an Ordinary Final Year Medical Student

Looking back at my life..I try to see what is it that I have achieved so far. But to tell you the truth..Im not sure what I am aiming for in the first place. Where am I? WHo am I. Im not so sure if i turned out ok or not. All those wrong turns I made,all those enemies I have encountered. Was it all worth it? Did I become a better person? This blog has become a place where I scream my depressive thoughts and my frustrations and I share not just the bad the cruel the evil..but memories that make me smile and that which I want to share with others.

Alas, I think that its time that I try to vent out my feelings properly through this blog. Up till now I've felt that I have been just so disorganized in so many ways thats its taking a toll on my life. As a peer to a friend, a colleague to her team, a daughter to her parents, a sister to her siblings, a soulmate to her soulmate, a slave to her Maker, and even as a person to herself. I feel as if I am this person who is not just untrue and dishonest to others but to herself. But the beauty about the creation of man, is how we are given the choice to control our inner demons. How we all end up being, 'The Talented Mr.Ripley'.

We are in fact Ripleys. I wonder sometimes, whether everyone is struggling the same path as I am. Where deep down in my heart, somewhere dark, there is a place where I hope no one ever lives to see or how I pray that my expressions do not betray my real feelings. But there is One that knows,He sure knows. And I am forever ashamed. As He had lent me this life, and after 12years of adolescents and adulthood, it was my own decisions that brought me to where I am now.
There is no way that we can turn back and wipe clean the road that bears our dirty footprints. There is no way we can erase the memory of those who have witnessed our misfits and failure. We can only repent and repay. And maybe through this journey of this ordinary girl, may make someone else who has felt alone, not so alone..to be continued