Early Awakenning

Last night as I turned on my phone after recharging it, i found a lot of msgges awaiting my reply or messages with words of encouragement..

*sigh*

Hariz called. Dye called. Ma called.

*sigh*

Honestly speaking, Im purposely avoiding my mother's calls. Why u ask? Because I really don't wanna breakdown and cry and make her worry too much. Plus sometimes I know she can be that person who boosts u up or even tears u down. And right now I just can't handle either. I'm in a state of distress that might eventually lead to me having a panic attack.

As I said previously, I haven't wholeheartedly cried much during exams, and even after short cases I just couldn't force it out but I felt that I just had to get it off my freaking, heaving chest.

Atlast, i succeeded.

I wailed and cried. Like 'org C mati bini' as they say. To hell with ugly puffy eyes and moOn shaped face.

I know u shouldn't do that and be more tenang and redha~

Im sorry I had to be that pathetic to You. I pray You'd forgive me and all my shameless faults.

N I hope my mother can forgive me for lying about being 'away' or 'asleep' when she called last night and this morning.

But, being my mother, she finally found a way to get to me.

Hanim.

After Subuh prayers, as I lay on my bed in endless fear and thought, she peeked into the room, hp in hand, "Adah? ha ade ni ha"

And there I was, with no escape,

(while still trying to escape with making the 'im-asleeep' axn to H for cover)

But nooo~ she asked to kejut me up!!

She asked how I was, why I didnt return her calls and how did I do for exams. I told her I felt like I screwed it and there she goes, "So ko rase,ko taulah ni ko F?"

*frown*

"Sbb ko tau mcmane ko buat,so ko taula mcmana resultnye"

OhMyGod this just gets better and better.

I told her not to say it aloud as her words are like prayers,

(if not like daggers ripping thru my heart) but she said its a done deal.

Well then say goodbye to 'The Most motivating Mother of The Yr' award ma!!!

*rolls eyes in disbelief*

I know she's scared for me. Well I'm scared shit as well.

Doa doa and doa and tawakal.

I msged ayah and his reply was so damn sweet *eye-tsunami*

"Risau emakayah tel mlm tad xjawaban. Ayahmak sentiasa doakan Adah anak bongsu tersayang.InsyaAllah anda lulus! -ayahmak"

Dad ,the BM teacher. haha

HHmmm..

"Ya Allah, perkenankanla doa hamba2mu ini.Amin"