A week or so ago, I was browsing through the pages of M-Life(college mag) when something caught my eye.It was a description for a senior.And it was short.
" Huh!!", I snorted.
"Ni mesti kes tatau nak tulis ape..bunyi cam skema je ayat" I assumed.
Speaking my mind to Hariz who sat quietly next to me and who had already browsed the whole thing earlier.
(Each of us had to write something about someone that
we had picked out of the ballet papers randomly.Just the seniors though.)
Then he looked at me and raised one sarcasticquestionning eyebrow..
" Ermm..eleh awk punye lg pendek kot" ,he snickered in a matter-of-fact tone..then he added a "Ha ha" to it. *rolls eyes*
The truth was,I was kinda shocked with this information and quickly turned the pages until I found mine.
I stared in disbelief. My mind went numb.
"good dancer,pretty" ??
Three WORDS..words..not even a sentence!!
When there I was really trying my best to capture the person I got in the most defining light as possible about her,so that she can be remembered by something so genuine and so true that my friends will be able to smile back as they flashed back thinking about our times together and nod in agreement *grins*
Thing was,I knew the person who wrote mine..and that he or she didn't exactly write that short of a description..*in denial*
Like come OOonn??!!
Really??
I mean she/he sat right in front of me during the time of writing the damn thing and discussed a lil with me for heavens sake. Plus Sera read mine later and confirmed it.I thinklah.
Well yes, true it did say something about dancing but I never assumed it was THAT freaking short.But I'm not blaming the one who wrote it of course.And I knew they said that the committee had to cut a few things as all of them weren't exactly Dean-proof material to be displayed.
But do I really have to be punished like this?
Not just me, no-one deserves just 3 words.
Its partially my own fault if people really thought about me that way.
Nor the fact that they don't even care.
But after all this while..I never thought in a million years..GAZILLION.. I would be...described(if u could call it that) in such way.
Just that? I'm not trying to be cocky.I'm just awed by myself.And not in a good way.
I was dissapointed with myself as I didn't leave an impact in the lives of my friends at all it seems.
Do I really want to be remembered that way? Would anyone rather be NOT remembered or remembered by so little, so insignificant..
It's embarassing to admit all this but..*sigh*
It just caught me by suprise..3 words..after all my energy and effort to give my all to whatever activity I did for my batch..and all was worth three freaking words.And it said 'Good' dancer..It wasn't even 'great' eventhough I admit I'm not that good at it either..but atleast couldn't you cut some slack due to the fact I got only 3 words that weren't even so true?
I know I'm not that good of a dancer, nor am I pretty
Maybe they should of just left it blank..?? *rolls eyes*
The committee is sooo thoughtless and insensitive in a way as some of us do take it a little personal(like moi).Those three words are forever imprinted for my family and friends to read.By this point I don't even want to show them.It's a little too much to bear to even imagine what they'll make out of it.And lets say it was short because they had cut the 'a's the 'and's the 'the's in the descrition and only leave those three 'lovely' words..didn't they think they could just come up with some random crappy lie to write about?
I bet if it was about them..They would probably think twice.
You would want your life to be a meaningful one.
If not to yourself, at the very least to others.
You would like people to smile a little with the thought of you flashing by..
You would like your namememory to linger in their minds 30 40 years from today.
You'd like that one day..when a story so similar to yours repeated in front of their eyes,
they would say "I had a friend who went through the same thing..her/his name was..."
I wonder if I would ever have that chance to be remembered.Because I know I would be telling the stories of my friends even when I'm old and cripple..as they meant(still mean) so much in my life and had effected in such a way that molded the person I am today.
You would want that too.
just sayin~
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